check it out our google latitudes are spooning
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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