I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
