Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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