I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
