Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
We have so much sex to catch up on
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
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