I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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