That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
