New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
