why didn't you poke me back
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
