I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
