didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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