Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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