at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
