Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
