only if we run a train.
done.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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