I wish you could order shots online.
Sober January is a disaster.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
