I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
they're like a gay fantastic four
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
