i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
