Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
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