I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
