My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
