Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize