i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
