glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Is Oprah even human
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
