pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
