i will never coherently bang her
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You may now shotgun with the bride
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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