I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
You ruined the universe
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
