found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You made out with two different species that night
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
