Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Randomize
