I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
