Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
