He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize