watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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