i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
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