my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
