This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
