I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Me. At least after what I've been through.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Randomize
