I feel like abortions should bother me more
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
