Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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