You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
They should really pass out barf bags in church
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
