Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize