There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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