Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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