i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Nicole vs. Life
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
