So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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