This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
