I looked at my own cervix.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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