My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
