A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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