So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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