That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize