I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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