On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize