Welp...herpes.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
