I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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