dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
