careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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