Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
