first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
