Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Randomize
