We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
