where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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