Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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